“My business will never survive this.” There was much to fear, but on the professional front, this was the thought that plagued me at the start of the pandemic. This thought could have been the undoing of Sampson Coaching and Consulting. But, I know that my thoughts cause my feelings, and my feelings drive my actions, so I chose not to indulge the thought. What good could come from believing it?
Since the coaching and training work we do is all about shifting mindsets and conquering challenges, I knew our services were more valuable than ever. Yet, I couldn’t ignore the daily emails from clients canceling all our scheduled in-person programs for the foreseeable future.
I wanted to give up. I felt tired and defeated. I couldn’t conceive of a way out. I felt trapped. I didn’t know what to do. That’s when my training kicked in.
I decided to intentionally think differently. I knew it would spark my energy and lead to positive action. I realized that if I truly believed that we had great value to offer, my only job was to do just that. I shifted my thoughts and my focus and actions followed. We had to get some value out into the world – to help people with all the great resources and coaching we’ve spent so many years learning, teaching, and practicing.
We decided to offer a series of free public virtual workshops to share coaching tools and to coach people through their struggles. Knowing that people were hungry for accurate and up-to-date medical information, we also enlisted the help of a highly accomplished physician, Dr. Melissa Kwak. The icing on the cake is that Dr. Kwak is also a fellow life coach… we became friends in our coach certification program a while back!
I absolutely loved co-facilitating those weekly workshops with Dr. Kwak. We still didn’t have much revenue coming in and I knew something would have to change, but we were energized by the outpouring of gratitude expressed for our free assistance. We recorded the workshops, so you can view them here on our YouTube page.
We promoted our sessions widely and people from all areas of our lives – family, friends, students, clients – told us the sessions were incredibly helpful. That would have been reward enough. But soon after, clients began reaching out because they had seen our free workshops. They wanted us to create new virtual training programs, to provide one on one coaching sessions, and more. We’re now busier than ever, with the meaningful and rewarding work we cherish.
In short, I empathize with you if you feel like giving up. I was there too. I encourage you to find ways to share your gifts and your value with the world, however you can. It will pay off one way or another. Reframe your self-defeating thoughts. Think creatively and try new things. Get ideas from people who are pivoting and pushing themselves outside of their comfort zones. It doesn’t have to be about income. Can you bring your value to your family, friendships, neighbors, house of worship, community organizations, online support groups, etc.? We may not be able to control what’s happening in the outside world. But, we can choose intentional, empowered thinking and actions in those areas where we have influence and control. For me, this choice has made all the difference. And, it all started with replacing the thought, “My business will never survive this” with “My business will thrive and provide more value than ever.” – Bridget
Coaches are not immune from the unhealthy patterns of thought that assault the mind. Negative, self-defeating thoughts are a staple in all our lives; we will not escape them, we will not eliminate them. We can, however, sit and observe these unhealthy habits of our minds and accept them, even nurture them, so that we may begin to free ourselves from their tyrannical rule. Bridget’s testimonial is a concrete example of this valuable and well supported process.
Eckhart Tolle puts it like this, “The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not ‘the thinker.’ The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated.” Tolle is simply saying that the moment you recognize that you are not your thoughts (the thinker), that you exist independent of your mind and thoughts, you wake to a life of freedom; freedom of mind.
For centuries, Zen Buddhism has recognized the distinction between the “Thinking Mind” and the “Observing Mind” noting that much of our emotional duress is because there is little to no separation between our thinking mind and our observing mind. Indeed, Bridget’s story reveals her honed ability to watch and observe her thinking mind.
Rooted in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), innovative western therapies such as Acceptance-Commitment Therapy (ACT) have become established interventions for shifting mindsets. The American Psychological Association credits ACT as an empirically proven method for increasing “psychological flexibility, or the ability to enter the present moment more fully and either change or persist in behavior when doing so serves valued ends.”
From east to west, both philosophically and empirically, Bridget’s story is a perfect example of all this. Yes, even she is not immune! She feels the same dread and worry that we all experience, yet she has learned how to accept that her mind does this, and intentionally moves forward with action, despite it. The key ingredient in the secret sauce… she does not identify with her thoughts, she simply allows them and then shifts to thoughts that serve her best interests rather than indulging in fantastical prophecies of doom and gloom.
Each of us can experience thriving, vibrant lives. We will not be free of negative self-defeating thoughts, but we will be aware of them and can choose otherwise. Let’s begin by recognizing and accepting our unhealthy patterns of mind. But how? Infuse your daily life with practices that create the opportunity for you to watch your thinking mind… to create the necessary gap between the thinking and observing mind… to promote cognitive flexibility… and to accept and move forward towards realizing new and exciting outcomes. A few of our favorite daily/ weekly practices: Yoga, meditation, exercise, hiking, Tai Chi, breath work, journaling, coaching, expressions of gratitude, appreciation, and gratefulness, etc.
Eckhart Tolle so eloquently puts it, “You can take the first step right now. Start listening to the voice in your head as often as you can. Pay particular attention to any repetitive thought patterns, those old gramophone records that have been playing in your head perhaps for many years. This is what I mean by ‘watching the thinker,’ which is another way of saying: listen to the voice in your head, be there as the witnessing presence.”
Bridget’s dedication, training, and consistency with the daily practices she has put in place in her life have gifted her cognitive flexibility, space between her thinking and observing mind, and ultimately the freedom to think, choose, and act with purpose and positive intention. Indeed, our business, Sampson Coaching and Consulting, is thriving and providing more value than ever. We are eternally grateful! – Todd
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